


Led by the Tide

by Lunan95



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Gen, Idiots in Love, M/M, Soulmates, companion piece to Assets and Liabilities, what happened during the main fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunan95/pseuds/Lunan95
Summary: It's 1824, Barnabas Bennett died in the dormain of the Forsaken with a broken heart and his trust shattered. He didn't know how it could go so wrong in his life and he never saw it coming until it was too late. He decided to forgive Sir Lukas, he really should've known better than to joking about his debt. But heneverforgave Jonah Magnus who left him to die without heart.----It's 2016 and Colton Rantanen is down on his luck with an awful job. The ocean seem to call him, he feels an familiar feeling inside his heart and Colton decided to follow it into the unknown. How is the odds that he'll end up being a very unexperienced sailor at the Tundra and he catches the attention of it's mysterious captain, Peter Lukas?It may become...the most unlikely union of all time. A story of reincarnation, misguided trust and an inevitable love.Updates at Tuesdays and Fridays.
Relationships: Barnabas Bennett/Jonah Magnus (onesided), Barnabas Bennett/Mordechai Lukas (past), Peter Lukas/Colton Rantanen, Peter Lukas/Original Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. Solitude is not Lonely

His name was Colton Rantanen, a simple man who came to London on a study trip and decided to live here forever. He was fond of the big city and decided there was something here for him.

The sights of rivers and oceans always attracted him and despite him trying to resist it, Colton couldn’t fight the temptation of the water waves which was ever so majestic and yet, so mysterious. The sea was his favorite.

It was almost like he was called by a siren only he could hear, but he couldn’t do any further as he took on the edge of the platform in the docks. 

His dreams were always foggy. For so long Colt could remember, he had dreamt about the ocean since he was little. But never about blue seas with sunny skies. No, the skies were always overcast and he was always walking down a grey shore, letting himself be wrapped in the mist.

It was almost like he was lost in his own life, but Colt couldn’t understand why.

His surname was Rantanen, it meant “shore” in his native tongue Finnish. It was quite fitting, Colt had always liked the ocean.

The siren voice was quiet, Colton now realized and he sat down on the platform, letting his legs dangle over the edge. He looked down at his reflection in the sea waves and recognized himself.

He had dark, curly hair and ice blue eyes. He was pretty pale, which no one had objected to because of his Scandinavian origins. Well, half of it since his mother was Finnish and his father was a Brit.

Colt suddenly shivered, it got colder all now for no reason and suddenly his nerves went stiff, something inside him screamed at him to run. 

**_D̶a̷n̷g̴e̶r̵ ̶d̷a̸n̷g̷e̶r̴ ̶d̸a̶n̵g̸e̷r̶ ̷d̶a̵n̸g̶e̶r̴ ̷d̵a̴n̷g̴e̸r̶ ̶d̸a̷n̷g̷e̵r̸ ̶d̵a̶n̸g̴e̴r̶ ̴d̸a̵n̸g̸e̵r̶ ̸d̸a̷n̷g̵e̴r̷ ̴d̷a̵n̵g̷e̵r̶ ̸d̴a̵n̵g̸e̶r̷-̴_ **

He rose onto his feet and started to leave. He didn’t even have a boat and besides, he had no business being in the docks when he didn’t even work here.

His hands grasped at the collars of his coat, trying to fend off the cold and he walked quickly away from the docks. 

But despite that he was determined to leave, Colt could feel someone staring at him and he felt very uncomfortable.

He didn’t want to see anyone, he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to be left  **_alone_ ** .

_ Go away, go away, go away! _ His mind chanted and he gritted his teeth together, his senses went haywire and he could almost feel his soul shrieking at him to leave now.

_**O̵r̴ ̶h̷e̵’̶l̶l̶ ̵c̷a̴t̷c̶h̶ ̸h̵i̴m̵.̶** _

Colt blinked, confused. Who was going to catch him? For some reason, it was like the wind whispered that to him-

**_G̶o̷ ̸b̴e̶f̴o̶r̶e̵ ̴h̴e̵’̵l̴l̵ ̶g̸e̷t̸ ̴y̴o̸u̷.̸_ **

Who was going to take him?

Suddenly a name echoed in his mind, like a long forgotten memory that sent chills down his spine and Colton swore he could feel his heart freeze to ice.

_**L̴̝̠̃̐u̷͙͝k̵͓͚̬̊̌̏͛a̵̛̦̋s̷̪̰̖̕.̷̦͊ͅ** _

He ran towards the bus stop and got inside the bus before it left. Colton sighed as he sat down in a seat and the bus started to roll on it’s way. 

But the feeling that someone had been watching him lingered with him. Colt tried to shake off that feeling, but it stayed with him through the day.

That evening he sat alone in his little flat, it wasn’t big by any standards. But it was nice, warm and had all the comforts of a home. Colton wasn’t materialistic, all his furniture and possessions were practical and homely.

He listened to the clock tick, he drank his tea warm as he sat there by the kitchen table. He was currently trying to solve a crossword in the newspaper.

Colton wasn’t very social. The mates he knew in uni had moved on with their lives and since he was someone they were friends with out of pity, Colt realized he was better off alone.

He had considered getting himself a cat, but he never acted on it because he liked the silence. The lonely man liked the simple joys in his life; he liked the crosswords, his tea and tending to his plants.

Being alone didn’t have to mean he was lonely and craved for company. It meant for him that he liked to be left in peace, focus on himself and the silence had never bothered him before. Loneliness was such an awful word, after all. He rather called it... _solitude_.

* * *

It was a cold day in November when it happened. Colt was out on his usual round, he delivered mail and packages as work and today, he was delivering a couple of letters and a smaller package to the Magnus Institute.

Colton, dressed in the delivery company’s uniform, looked at the address on the package.

_ Director Elias Bouchard. The Magnus Institute, London. _

Well, he better get to work then.

He entered the Institute and shoved away any signs of amazement his face might show, he was here for completing another task and he had to be on his way. His boss wasn’t a patient man and he’d rather not fall on his wrong side.

“Excuse me, I have to deliver a package to one...Elias Bouchard.” He asked the woman in the reception, her name tag revealed her name was Rosie, and he double checked the name on the package.

“Oh, take the stairs to the fourth floor and turn to the east corridor, you’ll find a door in mahogany with his name plate on. You can’t miss it.”

Colt turned around and looked at the massive stairs. “There isn’t any elevator?”

“No, it’s been broken for a while now.” Roise said with an apologetic smile. 

He sighed. “Better get to work then…” He mumbled and went to the stairs, this was not going to be fun.

* * *

“Ugh...why isn’t there any effing elevator?!” Colton threw out, nearly exhausted when he reached the third floor and took a short break. 

One would believe such a magnificent and sophisticated institute should have a working elevator, but no. The elevator seems to be out of service and judging of the reception lady’s response, this is a recurring problem.

Colt ended his short-lived break and tackled the last set of stairs, reaching his destination. Well, one good thing about this is he realized he needed to be more active physically.

Finally, he reached the top floor and after taking a few minutes to regain himself, Colton turned to the east corridor and found the door Rosie instructed him. 

It was a mahogany door with a door-knob in brass and with a golden plate with the name  _ Elias Bouchard, director of the Magnus Institute _ . He gathered courage and knocked three times.

“Enter.”

Colton opened the door. “Mr. Elias Bouchard? Delivery.” He entered the office, ignored his instinct to stop and admire the interior decor, and stopped in front of the dark oak desk. Behind it sat the director himself, Elias Bouchard.

He was a very handsome man with golden green eyes, although he seemed to be older than Colt and he still looked very good in his dark Armani suit.

“Ah, my package.” Elias said and took the delivery from his hands. “Thank you for your service, Mr. Rantanen.”

“Any pleasure, sir-wait.” Colton took a hold of himself. “How did you know my name?”

Elias turned his golden green gaze to the delivery man. “Intuition, I suppose. It’s a hidden talent.”

Colt wasn’t convinced. “Right…” He said slowly and cleared his voice. “Well, I should be on my way now. Enjoy the rest of your day, sir.”

“Tell me, how come your boss doesn’t cut you any slack, Mr. Rantanen?” Elias suddenly said and put down his package beside him on the desk and watched Colton with an intense gaze. “Surely you can’t just leave without having a glass of water?”

He was taken by surprise, this director seemed nice and reasonable. And to be honest, yes, his boss was pretty tough and unreasonable to him. “A glass of water would be nice.”

* * *

Elias Bouchard was a curious fellow, to Colton. 

No one has taken an interest in him before, he usually came and went like a ghost and Colt knew that he looked pretty average, easy to forget.

But Elias has seen him and he seemed to like whatever he might see in him.

“You’re not very appreciated in your work, are you?” Elias said as he drank his water.

Colton could swear his heart stopped. “What makes you say that?” He said suspiciously.

“Oh, I understand psychology quite well. Your posture is stiff, even when you walk and your hand twitches something like you’d want to hold onto something. It means you’re anxious and since you got quickly defensive like now, I’d say this is a common recurrence.” Elias said.

Oh, just not handsome but smart as well. He could live with that.

* * *

Colton quit the next day. Enough was enough and the meager pay wasn’t worth the work he had to do. Not to mention how unappreciated he was and he worked many hours overtime and he wasn't even paid for that.

His soon to be former boss blew up at that.

“Rantanen, don’t you dare walk out that door! I forbid you!”

“You can’t forbid me, I quit!” Colton snapped.

His boss scoffed. “You are nothing without this work! You’re not smart, you’re not fast and you’re not even strong enough for heavy lifting. You don’t even have a pretty face for modelling. Where would you even get a job with your mediocre CV?!”

Colton glared, even if it wasn’t worth it. “They always need people at the docks.” He said before he walked out that door and he didn’t stop walking until he was outside and several blocks away.

He sighed in relief.

He was free. Finally free from this toxic job.

Now...he needed to figure out where the docks were.

* * *

For the next few days, Colton struggled to find a job.

But as his former boss had said, his CV was very awful and lacked every qualification for any available job. Colt wanted to sigh at that.

He was waiting for a job at the docks until something was open. It was one of the first things he did, going to the docks and asking for a job.

Unfortunately, there were no open spots and they promised to give him a call if something came up.

Colton took another walk to the docks after four days, hoping for the best.

That was when he found a job.

“Ah, Mr. Rantanen!” A foreman said as he noticed the lonely man walking around aimlessly. “I have good news. There is an open spot here for you. At the Tundra, it’s a cargo ship and I think that might suit your needs. No qualifications or experience are requested.”

“Oh...that’s great!” Colton exclaimed. “Um...who is in charge of the Tundra?”

“The foreman picked up his glasses and looked at his papers. “Hm...one captain Peter Lukas. No one really interacts with the captain, so it’s the first mate, Thaddeus Dahl. He will decide if you’re suitable or not.”

That was a good enough answer for Colton and within the hour, he wrote his name on the application. 

* * *

It was a Friday when Colton got a message from the foreman in the docks. 

The message told him that he was to report at the Tundra at dawn and to not be late. There was no further information and the foreman wished him luck.

Colton had already alerted his landlord that he was going to be gone at sea for an undetermined period and then found out that his rent was paid three months in advance. He had frowned at who did such a thing, but he didn’t complain.

He packed everything he needed in a duffel bag and he was at the docks by dawn, where a man waited for him. He might’ve been a short man with thick, black beard but Colton decided to not feel intimidated by him.

Instead, he answered the questions by the man who was the confirmed Thaddeus Dahl. He tried to ignore the slight judging glance of having low qualifications, but he wasn't denied the open spot at the Tundra.

“We’re in need of an Ordinary Seaman. You are welcome in that position, if you can handle it.”

Colton was determined to prove himself. “Yes.” He answered, short but to the point.

And that was how he became an Ordinary Seaman at the Tundra.

* * *

Despite his qualifications left much to be desired, Colton was a quick learner and very determined to do a good job. In a short span of time, he had learned every task he needed to do at the ship and he carried out every order he was given. 

His main tasks were cleaning and maintenance, it wasn’t too hard once he learnt how it was done.

Colton found that he was...enjoying working at the ship. 

No one really looked at him or spoke to him if it wasn’t Thaddeus who gave him orders, but that was how he liked it. Colt has never been a social person, which made him into an outcast through his school years.

It was quite odd, really. A young boy with dark hair, blue eyes and with a good head on his shoulders. And yet, he greatly disliked talking with people. He used to be happiest when he sat under a tree, reading his non-fictional books.

But here and now...it felt so surreal of how perfect it was for him.

Colton was currently swabbing the deck when he felt...something watched him. He could almost feel someone staring at him from behind, but he decided to ignore it and continued with his duties.

It wasn’t until lunch time he found out why.

“The captain?”

Bobby, he was the crew mate he was sharing a cabin with. He was a tad younger than him, but the only one who took notice of Colton and talked to him actively. While Colton enjoyed silence more, he figured Bobby trailed after him because he seemed a bit afraid at times.

“Oh yes.” Bobby nodded. “I was working on securing the cargo, but I noticed that the captain came out and then he just...looked at you when you swabbed the deck. Not once, but several times. But you never turned around to face him…”

“I rather believe in doing a good job than idle chit-chat.” Colton said unamused.

Bobby nearly whined. “No need to be so cold, you look like you need to talk about this-”

“Not at all, I’m fine with silence.” Colton said and resumed his lunch. The discussion was over, just as he wanted.

* * *

So what if the captain found him interesting?

It was no big deal.


	2. Recollection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colton wants to move on with his life, when he suddenly get approached by Peter Lukas himself. The enigmatic captain expresses an unusual interest in him. 
> 
> But then he finds himself alone on the ship one day...

His dreams became more vivid after they set sail and Colton slept in his own cabin.

_ His dreams weren’t about standing by the shore, feeling desolate, alone and yet happy. Now, he was walking across a grey-green landscape with hills and not a single tree, plant or even rock in sight. His surroundings were engulfed in mist, feeling just as grey as he felt. _

_ He walked on and on, aimlessly and without goal. Just...walking. _

_ But no, there was a reason. Wasn’t it? He looked for someone. Waited for someone. To find him. _

_ Don’t...leave him...in this awful place… _

_ He stopped walking. Why? He tried to remember why he was here and why he wanted to be found by someone. Why couldn’t he recall what happened? _

_ Just standing there, his dark boots crushing the grass under his feet- _

_ Boots? He doesn’t own boots. _

_ He looked down at himself, astonished over what he was wearing. Dark boots that reached to his knees along with white, form fitting pants and a blue tailcoat with a white shirt beneath. _

_ He looked like something taken out from those Jane Austen books. _

_ Why wasn’t the question anymore now. _

_ Who was he? _

Colton woke up in cold sweat in his cot, it felt like he was forgetting how to breathe in the middle of sleeping and now, he needed to take a moment to calm himself.

That couldn’t have been him. This was modern time, he was in his early thirties and that looked like...19th century or so. Hell, not even his grandfather was alive by then.

Colton scoffed to himself, it was just a dream. But insecurity grew inside him, making him panic.

“I need air.” He muttered. He looked through the cabin window, the skies were still dark with a weak trail of light at the horizon. Dawn wasn’t far away.

He made his decision and started his day already now. He could always load heavily on coffee later, one of the few things onboard that was plenty of. 

Within a short time, he had a quick shower and dressed in a thick, white jumper and comfortable jeans, sporting a pair of black boots. Colton walked out on deck and didn’t stop until he was at the bow, facing the wide ocean spread out in front of him.

He stood there, alone and enjoyed the chilly, salty air. The wind blew through his black hair and Colton crossed his arms, ignoring the cold.

It was quite lovely, standing there and feeling the solitude. He was aware of others on deck, but everyone was quite spread out and he didn’t mind. The skies were still dark, but he could see the hints of purple and pink at the horizon.

This called for a good smoke.

He got his hands on a cigarette and put it in his mouth while he tried to light it.

His lighter was so old and cheap, he should’ve known to buy a better one. The job chance just made him forget that. 

“Fuck...damn it…” He growled as he kept trying to light his goddamn cigarette. The lighter just kept sparking, not even enough for a small fire.

Suddenly a hand holding a zippo lighter offered to him and Colton took the chance, lighting his cigarette. “Thanks.” He muttered and then he froze. That hand...was not Thaddeus.

Colton raised his head slowly and forced his eyes up, meeting the ice blue eyes of Captain Lukas.

He had never met or seen the captain himself, but he knew it was him. Maybe it was because of his captain hat which he wore on his head. He was taller than him and his structure was much more muscular and robust. He wore a long, thick coat in wool and what characterized him most was the mustache under his straight nose and the stubble on his chin.

Colton couldn’t stop looking into his eyes as Captain Lukas withdrew his zippo lighter and closed it. Something in his heart made it flip.

This felt so...familiar.

He forced his eyes away from his captain and stared over the ocean instead. “Thanks, captain. I should go away now.” He turned around and began to walk away. He hadn’t taken a step before he felt a big hand on his shoulder.

“Why in such a hurry, mate?”

Colton thought quickly of a lie. He didn’t want to see the captain, he’s heard terrible stories from the others that the seamen who interacted with the captain was never seen again. “My shift is starting soon, surely you’re busy-”

“I am not. And your shift isn’t beginning anytime soon.” Peter Lukas said and he smiled, although there was no warmth in it. His voice was somehow serene and calm, though. Nearly soothing in a strange way. “How about you join me for a while? It’s cold out here in the breaking dawn.”

Colton couldn’t do anything than nod. It was his captain, after all and it sounded more of a command if anything.

* * *

He watched as the captain poured a glass of scotch for himself and then for him. Colton wanted to know why his captain wanted to see him, but somehow it felt pointless to ask.

Peter slid the glass to him and nodded. “For a good voyage.” The captain said and took a deep sip from his glass.

Colton didn’t want to show himself as weak, so he did the same.

And it was a mistake.

He swallowed, but coughed and hissed at the burning intensity.

Captain Lukas chuckled, amused at his misery. “You are an interesting fellow, Rantanen. Now...what made you really join my ship?”

Colton froze. Oh shit...was he here because of it?

“Financial difficulty.” He answered and it was true. Soon enough, he’d been in a difficult situation about his economy and probably lost the apartment if the job didn’t come so...timely.

“Mhm.” Peter Lukas took a walk around inside his quarters, still with his scotch in hand. “How do you like the Tundra?”

“It’s nice. I like the ocean.” He answered shortly.

“And the chores aren’t too difficult since you’re very...ah, inexperienced.” The captain continued. “It’s quite the gamble, taking in a fully ignorant crew member and letting him handle everything from scratch.”

Colton frowned. He hadn’t thought about how this would affect the captain. He was sure that this couldn’t be allowed, giving the job to a very inexperienced man.

“I learnt the basics and I have no problem following instructions, sir.” Colton answered.

“Good. Because I have a little offer.” Captain Lukas then settled down in his chair again, refilling his glass. “We’re having a stop soon. One of our original crew is returning; you were his temporary replacement.”

Something sank in his stomach. “I see.” Colton swallowed thickly.

“But instead of letting go of such a diligent hard worker like you...I have a little suggestion.” He gave a little smirk. “I’m in need of someone who can take care of simple errands for me, I have too much to do even on land. Being a cabin boy is one of the duties while I’m at the seas, of course. But it’s more of a personal…” He trailed off.

“An assistant?” Colton suggested.

“Yes. A personal assistant, that is correct.” Peter said calmly with an easy smile. “You could fill up that spot.”

Colton thought it sounded like a good offer, but he was careful. “May I ask what I earn on this new job?”

“£25 000 per year. Including job security” The captain replied, he didn’t sound too worried about the money for some reason. “Naturally, you are living along with me since you’re tending to my needs. Separate room, of course.”

Colton thought about it. Living with...his captain? The separate room was a comfort, of course and he was well-versed in housekeeping. And the money sounded too good to refuse. “How soon do you need an answer?”

“Today may be good.” His captain remarked. “Think about it. But you probably need to get back to work now, they need you in the kitchen.”

It was his cue to leave and Colton took it. He rose up, having finished the scotch despite how it burned in his throat. “I’ll think of it. Goodbye.” He said and left the captain’s quarters.

* * *

He didn’t stop thinking about it.

Colton did every task as he always did, never letting himself be distracted. But he still pondered over what the captain offered him.

He had always been under the impression that he was a common, ordinary man with an average appearance. He could easily melt into his surroundings, like the crowds in the city. No one usually took notice of him.

So why was it different with Captain Lukas?

He continued on his day, he had time to think about and Colton made plenty of thinking while he swabbed the deck, helped in the kitchens, cleaned and did various maintenance on the ship.

At the end of his shift, he came to the realization that it couldn’t be that much harm to accept.

This was, after all, a temporary job and the original crew member was going to reclaim his spot soon.

Colton made his decision. He’ll accept.

After he had a little nap during his off-shift hours, he’ll seek out the captain and tell of his decision.

But once he woke up, that was how everything went to hell.

* * *

Colton felt strange when he woke up an hour afterwards, on his cot inside his little cabin. 

At first he thought it was the silence that set him off, but it was not it. There were something else…

He sat up, listening with anxiety that pooled in his stomach. 

The engines had stopped. 

Maybe he’s been just a seaman for some months now, but silent engines were not a good sign and especially not when they were in the middle of the ocean.

Colton acted fast. He pulled on his shoes and threw the door open, running onto deck. 

“First mate, is everything alright? The engine’s stopped-!”

The deck was empty. Not a single person anywhere and everything was so still, so quiet. It’s been overcast the entire day and he was surrounded by mist. He took a few steps, slowly. 

His heart kept beating in his chest, pounding so hard as if it tried to break his ribcage. He tried to focus on his breath intakes, but it was shallow and his hands trembled. 

Colton searched for the first mate...any of the crew...the Captain. But he couldn’t find anyone, the ship was abandoned.

Why would they abandon ship when there was nothing wrong? Most importantly, why would they leave him behind onboard? It didn’t make any sense.

That was when he heard a sound, like a whistle. But it was so high and shrill, the sound was piercing and yet...it felt so distant. Far away.

Colton felt the hair on his neck stand and he felt...cold.

That was when something pierced in his head. Colton gasped and fell on his knees, his hands grabbed onto his head. He groaned in pain. 

“No...no no no no no...not again...not again!” He kept chanting automatically.

Again?

Images started to flood his mind, memories of a man who once existed...until he didn’t.

_ It was a young man with curly, copper-colored hair and a glowing smile as he laughed, seemingly at a joke he made. “Bring it before the courts, then.” He jested with a charming wink. _

_ The joke was not appreciated for some reason and he felt his resolution falter before the man in front of him. “You shall pay me...in kind.” He said, a voice deep and he left before he could take it back, explain that he wasn't serious. _

Colton felt tears running down his face, his head throbbed of unbearable pain. “No...no! It was just a joke...I didn’t even consider…!”

_ “Mordechai! Mordechai...please, don’t leave me here!” He shouted as this empty world would become his tomb, this forsaken loneliness was devouring him and soon, there would be nothing left of him.  _

_ “I beg you to have mercy...I didn’t mean to...I couldn’t realize you would take my words too literally.”  _

Colton grew nearly hysterical. “I don’t want to remember, I don’t want to! I...what? I don’t understand...he can’t be me...I can’t be him!”

_ “Please, Jonah...if you have any compassion within your heart, you will not leave me in this place.” His hands trembled as he wrote his letter with haste, desperate for one last rescue.  _

_ “Please don’t leave me alone…” He whispered, tears running down and he was shaking of fear. _

Colton tried to rise up from his knees, but he collapsed on deck instead. He could nearly not breathe, everything was hurting and he was crying in earnest. He was man enough to never be ashamed over crying, but this was because of a mixture of grief, pain and fear.

He abandoned him...left him to die.

Jonah...his Jonah Magnus had betrayed him. Forsaken him.

He was him. Barnabas Bennett.

A lost soul, torn apart by those whom he thought loved and had placed his trust in. 

_ “Not bad, Bennett.” Mordechai said with amusement, victorious after a fencing match. “With a little training, you may become good enough to defeat me at my own game.” _

_ Barnabas laughed, it brought happiness and warmth. “How could I beat you, my best Mordechai? Not only have I lost this match, but you have also a claim on my heart as prize?” _

_ “The best prize to win, if I may.” Mordechai smirked. _

“You...abandoned me. Both of you.” Colton struggled to pull himself up, his heart held so much anger at one of the two persons he should hate of all his might. 

He could forgive Mordechai. He said something he never should’ve and Mordechai had a slight difficulty regarding jokes. He if anyone should’ve remembered that.

But Jonah…

His trusted Jonah. Wise and trustworthy Jonah Magnus...he knew and yet, he abandoned him there. In this.. _.Forsaken _ -

“The Lonely.” Colton said and raised his head, facing a very thick mist and he knew...here was the entity, this...power that killed him. “Forsaken, have you come to kill me again?”

The air was vibrating, slightly exposed by a soul they had once taken and which soul lived again. 

“I am already Alone. What more can you do?”

Let him perish again. Nothing left behind than his bones and the clothes he wore, just like last time…

“You’ve already done that. And I am not impressed.” Colton scoffed and crossed his arms in defiance. “And your ritual...the Silence. Really?”

The Lonely didn’t seem to like his attitude, but he didn’t care. He had nothing to lose anymore.

“I would’ve named it better, like the Silencing. Or perhaps the Servering?” Colton continued. “The Silence implies that everything is quiet and that is just ridiculous!”

The Forsaken may not be pleased with that.

“Like I care.” Colton said. “How about this? You don’t devour me again...and I don’t seal you away with a book? I’ve heard there’s a certain kind that can bind powers like you.”

He cannot do that. He is human, a prey-

“Oh, I can. Only someone who has passed through death’s door and returned can do it.” Colton smirked. “You should watch out, I could forgive unless you want the alternative.”

That was a no.

“Thought so.” Colton scoffed and glared into the mist. “So leave...me... _ alone _ !” He snarled venomously.

The mist started to clear around him. Colton, contrary to his previous life, had decided to take a stand and it worked.

He was Barnabas Bennett. But he was now Colton Rantanen.

Granted, he was Barnabas and Colton at the same time. He was both.

And he vowed to _ never _ forgive Jonah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. This was planned from start. owo I hope y'all didn't got disappointed that he remembers his past life this early. But no, this is where the exciting starts! Reincarnated Barnabas with new identity, but remembers _everything_ Jonah Magnus did? Oh ho ho ho. 
> 
> The Lonely: be our food  
> Colton/Barnabas: no thanks


	3. Barnabas 2.0: Stronger Than Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colton comes to terms of what Captain Lukas is, his memories of being Barnabas Bennett and wonders where is the line between humanity and avatarhood. While Elias fumes over "Barnabas" betrayal, Peter Lukas seem to have an idea of better employment for him than a simple seaman, however...

Colton was there when the crew returned. The mist had cleared, but it was still overcast and cold. 

He was met by great surprise.

It was almost as if most of the crew hadn’t expected he was going to be found alive at all. But Colton knew what this was about and he didn’t say anything. 

Peter Lukas met him by a stupefied silence. His widened eyes were full of surprise, the enigmatic captain had then retreated to his quarters without a word. He only gave Thaddeus a sharp nod before he left.

It was nearly sunset when Thaddeus approached Colton, who was cleaning the deck at the starboard. “Captain’s quarters, now.” He stated, cold as steel. 

Colton understood it was urgent and left his post to see the captain. He knew. Oh, he knew that Mordechai’s descendant wouldn’t be happy about failing to feed him as lunch to his patron. 

But he was prepared for a storm, so Colton ventured to the captain’s cabin with stiff shoulders and a tightness in his chest.

* * *

It was silent as in the grave.

Colton sat in a chair while Captain Lukas didn’t look at him, his back against him while he looked through the window with hands in his pockets. Frowning.

“Your Forsaken is not happy since I avoided becoming it’s lunch, captain.”

Peter didn’t say anything.

Colton decided to leave it at that, letting it simmer. Until the captain finally spoke up.

“So you knew.”

“Not until it happened and then it didn't take me long.” Colton answered. He decided being honest was better than lying about this matter. “I lived once before, two hundred years ago. I became food for the Lonely as my demise.”

Peter stayed silent until he once again spoke again. “I never intended you to become a sacrifice for my patron. It was a test.” He chuckled dryly.

Anger flared in Colton. “A test.” He repeated. “ _ A test?! _ My best captain, I didn’t agree on becoming your guinea pig, just to see what would happen if the Forsaken devoured me again! You’re not of the Eye, so there is nothing for you to Behold like the dastardly Jonah-”

He barely stopped himself because he was venting and it was a bad thing. His abandonment issues lied with Jonah, not Peter.

“So it is true then.” Peter said and finally, turned around to look at him. “He calls himself Elias these days. He was against that you were joining my crew, in fact. Quite possessive of him.”

“Such bold words for someone who wasn’t so keen on saving a friend when a mistake was made.” Colton remarked coldly. “I take it as you have figured out who I used to be?”

“Elias told me. I didn’t believe him.” Peter said simply. “Until now. Quite a feat to openly challenge the Lonely, Barnabas Bennett.”

Colton glared. “Never call me that again.” He snapped irritated. “Barnabas Bennett is my past, he died alone and forsaken in 1824. Colton Rantanen is my present and future.”

Peter Lukas chuckled. “You are amusing, Colton Rantanen.”

“Glad my misery amuses you then, captain.” Colton added, sarcastically.

“You haven’t given a thought about my offer, have you?” Peter continued coyly. “I was quite serious when I said I needed a personal assistant.”

“For the matter of fact,” Colton began and looked Peter right in the eyes. A direct approach. “I accept.”

Peter smiled, it wasn’t warm. But Colton could tell he was greatly satisfied with his answer. “Excellent, preparations must be made at once. Remember, your new employment starts when we dock back in England.”

“I understand. I should probably leave, I must finish my tasks before the day is over.” Colton said and stood up. He managed to make it to the door and as his hand was on the handle, Peter spoke again.

“Colton Rantanen, I’d advise you to not wander around at night.” Peter Lukas said casually. “And try to not get lost in the mist. I’d say the Forsaken is still quite taken with you.”

“Understood, captain.” Colton answered. “Good evening.”

The door shut behind him and he released a big breath he never knew he had been holding in. 

His fate was sealed now. As soon as they were back in Britain, Colton belonged to Peter Lukas as employment. 

He couldn’t help to wonder what if the rest of the Lukas family knew of it.

* * *

Back in London, inside a certain office at the fourth floor of the Magnus Institute...there sat Elias Bouchard. Angered.

So Barnabas has gotten his memories back and yet, turned his back on him? 

His anger was cold and yet, burned in him. Out of every outcome, he could never predict this would happen. 

As long he had known him, Elias had him pegged as predictable. He Knew he was Barnabas Bennett, there was no other explanation of his sudden appearance, the soft features that reminded him of Barnabas and how the Lonely mist clung to him. 

Curious, naive and soft Barnabas Bennett.

He had turned his back on him.  _ Betrayed him. _

But even with the unpredictable turn of events, he quickly realized how much this was in his favor. The game had changed, indeed. For what he thought would become another game of chess, Barnabas made a move that could turn in any direction.

Based on his choices.

Now this was something to Behold.

He wondered...if Peter was up for a little _wager_.

* * *

That night, after he was finished with his chores, Colton had on his bed. Thinking and remembering all that happened until his death in the Forsaken.

What grieved him more was that he hadn’t heed Fanshawe’s warnings; he broke his promise to be careful. How could’ve he been so thoughtless? 

Colton sighed, he was back after two hundred years and he was in such...unfamiliar place. He couldn’t trust Magnus. Fanshawe...von Closen...they had to be dead, but he didn’t know what fates they received. 

And Mordechai then…

His heart ached. Mordechai, he was never able to explain the thing about taking his lost wager to the court was just a joke. But he must’ve forgotten about Mordechai’s inability to understand jokes.

How could it have gotten this bad?

Trying to remember exactly which moment he was alive and then dead was difficult. Being alone and left to his devices in the Forsaken meddled with his memory during his last minutes alive. Then everything went dark and now he was here.

And then there was Peter Lukas, Mordechai’s descendant. Colton wasn’t sure of what to make of him yet. But Lord, he recognized so much of Mordechai’s characteristics in Peter.

His eyes were ice-blue, seemingly cold. His skin tone was pale as snow, which is actually more strange if he’s a captain of many years. He supposed it was a Lukas trait. 

He wanted to sigh, he knew that Peter wasn’t Mordechai. The urge to plead for an apology was useless because he’s been dead for two centuries and this was Mordechai’s descendant. 

The question was if he could ever move on from a love that was doomed from the start. Not to mention to ask why he was reborn to a second life. 

He was very religious when he was Barnabas, firmly believing in a high power that was the One Almighty. But what use was it, considering the fear he received?

Then there was Jonah Magnus…

Treacherous Jonah. Despicable Jonah. Oh, that dastardly and cruel man, Jonah Magnus. The hatred burned in him as flames, now when he recalled. He was so sure he got his letter and ignored him, leaving him to die.

It was part of the reason why he accepted Peter’s offer of being his personal assistant. Out of spite to Jonah. But also, perhaps out of curiosity about Peter Lukas. Who knows.

Colton sighed, his given name was already starting to feel wrong. But he must carry it, as part of his new life. One moment at the time. 

He gazed through the window of his lonely cabin, looking at the endless ocean and wondering how far he could get without being led by the tide. He yawned, suddenly feeling exhausted. Perhaps he needed a little rest, he thought and laid down on his bed, closing his eyes. 

Soon, Colton was lulled to sleep by the sounds of ocean waves. However, his dreams were filled by mist, where he kept trying to chase after Mordechai’s lonely shadow.

* * *

Time just flew away at the Tundra. Colton kept himself distracted by doing his chores, determined to show that he could do a good job even if he was to have a change in employment by the time they docked back in England. 

For someone who was taught how to handle the duties of an ordinary seaman from scratch, Colton was doing very well. Thaddeus never gave a word of praise to him, but he gave a satisfied nod as he inspected Colton’s hard work.

That was how he knew that his work was at least satisfactory. 

Colton preferred to work out here at sea, where he could be left alone with privacy for whenever he wanted rather at Magnus’ institute where he could be watched by that dastardly Jonah.

Well, he really needed to work out his emotional issues. 

Perhaps it was cliche, but he liked swabbing the deck a lot. It had rhythm and Colton felt so peaceful by doing it. He had other duties, of course. But it was his favorite.

It wasn’t until in the middle of night, something finally happened. Colton was woken up at the middle of night by Thaddeus, who wore a cold frown. “Dress. Now.” He ordered before he left.

It was just like that day he was abandoned onboard, but instead of being devoured by the Lonely, he gained his memories back. Colton wasn’t a fool to know that there was someone else being sacrificed this time.

If he had been his old, innocent self when he was Barnabas, then he’d naturally stayed behind to help the one who was being forsaken. But alas, he wasn’t as he was changed and there was little he could do, even if he and the Lonely had an agreement.

So Colton followed the orders. He was dressed in less than five minutes, with boots strapped on his feet and went out on deck. 

Everyone was being settled in the lifeboats and then Colton was Peter, who wore a stone cold expression. They were set off onto the ocean. 

For the past months since his employment, Colton had gained quite the arm muscles and it paid off as he rowed in tune with the other seamen of the Tundra. They were now quite far from the ship and that was when Thaddeus raised his whistle to the lips and blew.

Colton remembered that sound, back when he was forsaken onboard. 

A part of him pitied the poor soul who was left onboard the Tundra, alone and fated to become food for the Forsaken. But he knew it was inevitable from the beginning and he was grateful it wasn’t him.

He sat there in the lifeboat, with the other sailors and Thaddeus, waiting for the signal to return to the ship. The ocean wind was salty, strong and it stung at his skin. Suddenly Colton understood how the ocean could go so well with the Lonely.

There was nothing more lonely, than being in a small boat in the middle of the vast ocean.

Another shrill whistle was heard, it cut through the air and startled him back to his senses. It was the signal: time to head back to the Tundra. Colton quickly found himself back in work, rowing along the other sailors, back to the ship. 

Colton was pretty sure he wasn’t exactly an avatar of the Lonely, but he wasn’t sure if he was human anymore either. Either way, he was too close to the Forsaken to be human, but too human for an avatar.

_ ‘I wonder...if there is anything in-between?’  _ He thought for himself as they were safely onboard the Tundra again. The crew were almost as they'd changed and never noticed the missing sailor who is presumed eaten by the Forsaken. 

But Colton wasn’t in the mood of any of their activities that evening, when they played cards, drank and had food. Colton had never liked when people were loud, especially when they were drunk.

He closed his eyes and pictured Mordechai before himself, back when he was living his first life as Barnabas Bennett. He thought about the time before Sir Lukas gave himself into the Forsaken completely, back when he still had that reserved expression but his eyes still had fondness as he looked at him.

Colton opened his eyes and his heart sank in disappointment when he realized he was still in the mess hall, watching as the sailor talked, drank and played poker.

“Too noisy isn’t it?”

Colton’s blue eyes drifted to his left side, seeing Captain Lukas standing beside him. No one seemed to notice them at all, for some reason and Colton could feel a chill going down his neck.

“Yes.” He finally answered his captain. “It’s getting a little too much. I wish I could have a quiet place for myself.”

Barely he had finished those words and suddenly, Colton found himself standing on a grey shore. 

The endless sea before him looked cold and grey, but he couldn’t feel any chill. Small waves crashed at the beach and the mist felt thick and yet, so transparent. 

It was quiet. Calm.  _ Lonely. _

“You took me to Forsaken's domain, didn’t you?”

Captain Lukas looked amused. “You asked to have a quiet place for yourself. What could possibly be better than having a small break in a place, isolated from any pesky, unwanted company?”

It was true, but Colton didn’t want to give him that kind of satisfaction. But they just stood there at the foggy, grey shore in a comfortable silence. At least until Colton felt ready to return back to their “reality” and to the Tundra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been ready for the last few weeks, but I've gotten in much trouble regarding self-care and mental health. Either way, I'm on the right path to healing myself, even if it meant I've burnt some bridges this past week (prett personal stuff, all I can say is I need to fix my own mistakes).
> 
> However, I'll keep on writing and I hope you all won't be disappointed. :3
> 
> -Lunan

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I had this planned in my mind after I finished up _Assets and Liabilities_. 
> 
> While Gertrude was dealing with her four new assistants, Elias' bullshit and Prentiss...Peter Lukas finds himself a very unusual man on his crew and he's pretty much taken by Colton Rantanen despite his better judgment.
> 
> And yes, Colton Rantanen _is_ Barnabas Bennett, reincarnated with a second life. When does he get his memories from 19th century? Well, you'll just had to wait and see. But he will get his memories back and it's not gonna be pretty. ;)
> 
> The one who trusted Jonah Magnus with his whole life and then was left to die...nah, he can't been happy about that.


End file.
